after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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