i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
