Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
