It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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