I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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