Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
