Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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