so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
