1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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