Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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