I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
