yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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