Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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