"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
