Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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