wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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