Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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