dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
