Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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