just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm getting married
To pizza
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
