I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yo dont text me then not text me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish i was in the wii world.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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