Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
