i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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