Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
