so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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