I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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