If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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