Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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