Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
