i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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