I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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