Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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