im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
