so that wasnt chicken after all
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
