i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
