careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
