I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
