um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
