Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.