he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm both gender and math confused
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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