Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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