She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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