seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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