We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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