it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize