I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize