Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
