i just google imaged poop.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
