what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
