i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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