does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
