Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize