What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize