Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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