Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
