I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
