I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit