Texts From Last Night

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  (221): View more from

  I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.

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  (221): I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/7n2x
  Replies (20) Good night (1054) Bad night (7335) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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  (970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg
  Replies (100) Good night (6453) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.

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  (757): I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK. http://tfl.nu/aspp
  Replies (27) Good night (6208) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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  (309): So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar. http://tfl.nu/wvqn
  Replies (20) Good night (6845) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

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  (317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a
  Replies (20) Good night (10280) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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  (703): You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her. http://tfl.nu/ivfo
  Replies (11) Good night (5390) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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  (720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah
  Replies (10) Good night (3221) Bad night (1364)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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  (678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub
  Replies (4) Good night (3245) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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  (307): Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor. http://tfl.nu/j4rc
  Replies (17) Good night (6193) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.

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  (904): Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/n05i
  Replies (9) Good night (3531) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dear god, who put you in a cab?

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  (267): duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19. (856): dear god, who put you in a cab? http://tfl.nu/6o92
  Replies (21) Good night (4358) Bad night (813)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...

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  (207): I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor... http://tfl.nu/nzpk
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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  (224): i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing. http://tfl.nu/a3ha
  Replies (5) Good night (303) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.

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  (405): Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again. http://tfl.nu/vkin
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for

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  (475): So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for http://tfl.nu/xgsz
  Replies (9) Good night (1183) Bad night (137)

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