he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder