Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you