Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.