sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
