my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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