I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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