he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
