:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize